We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
