We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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