i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
