you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
