thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
