it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
