look no pants
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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