Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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