dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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