I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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