dude i'm inner monologue high
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
