I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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