I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
