Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
did i just pee glitter
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
