Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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