do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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