i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
