Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
