all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
