You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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