Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
