Dual....:-)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
