My liver just broke up with me...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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