I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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