dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
