Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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