Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
