Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to make out with him forever
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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