I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
