Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So here I am, sexting at work.
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