so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
