I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
