Is it because I queefed?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
