i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
