i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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