Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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