Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
