I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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