I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
