i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
