oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
