What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
