did you get engaged???
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
