so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
