just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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