oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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