I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
