Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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