whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We need to get me chipped asap
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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