i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pants are for mortals
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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