epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
