I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
