pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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