so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
