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Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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