You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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