I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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