is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
