If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think i have two assholes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
